There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
