3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
