I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
