I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
