So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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