I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We need to get me chipped asap
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
