she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize