My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
