I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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