PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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