so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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