im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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