you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
