If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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