Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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