I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
