he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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