What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just googled if crying burns calories
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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