did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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