I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize