What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
