halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
