I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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