worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
