you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
