There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
