Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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