woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
