if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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