Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
