drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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