one two three fourrrrnication!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize