just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
