So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
