he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize