we have pet lesbian snakes
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Are my feet made of real feet?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
