i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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