Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
