I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
