If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
