They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
