No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
