Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
