I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
