On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize