I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
