I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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