its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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