Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
