Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
