Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
