There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
