he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
