Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
