I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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