butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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