Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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