I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
