Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
