He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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